We thought she was writing a nice note!

Boy were we wrong. We were way off! I remember when she wrote this one. She told us she was writing Jack a note. She got some paper, some crayons and sat down at the table. Then asked if she could go deliver it. My mistake was not looking at the note. I mean really, of course my little girl is writing something sweet and nice, right? Big fat WRONG!


Fast forward to a few minutes ago, the doorbell rings, it's one of my neighbors. She's holding a note. She asked if it was Zoe's handwriting, I said yes, that looks like the note she was writing the other day. She said it blew into her yard and thought I might want to see & read the note. I'm like, OK, sure. OMG! It was an "I hate you" note! I am so embarrassed! (Her penmanship has improved though, so I guess that's a positive.) The note said "Jack" on the front, with a red heart crossed out with an "X". On the inside it said (complete with backwards "J") "Jac I hat you becus you are men". Then she drew a picture with an arrow pointing to it with "Jack" written over the arrow. The picture even had blonde hair. Dan said, when she was writing the note, she had asked him what color Jack's hair was and he said blonde. She said "that's yellow, right"? Little did we know why she wanted that information.

Here's the kicker, my neighbor said she wanted to make sure I knew about the note because Zoe had written her son a similar note a few weeks ago. WTF? Now, don't get me wrong, we have gotten our share of "I hate you" notes from her in the past. We've even kept some, because they are freaking hilarious. We've gotten pictures with faces marked out with “mom or dad” written over them". She always seems to "hat" us about something, but I was totally caught off guard this time. I'm still in shock.

Much needed couple time

Sometimes, you go so long without having any couple time that you start to think that's the norm.  I'm not sure the last time we got to spend a nice evening alone.  We usually get at least once a month, when Zoe does her "sleepover" at Grandma's.  (She calls it her sleepover.  LOL!)  We had a nice evening tonight, out of the blue, totally unplanned.  It made us realize that we really do need to take time for each other and that it really takes an effort from both of us.  We've kind of been just co-existing I think.  Hanging as a family, as parents, but we need to work on getting the "couple" back.  I think we can do it. 

Our neighbor has two daughters that Zoe plays with.  The older one was having a birthday sleepover.  The younger sister asked if Zoe could sleepover as well.  It was like a much needed gift.  Dan & I had dinner, talked, played some Wii games, we had fun.  It's really been a long time. 

Wonder if we'll be getting a phone call at midnight saying Zoe wants to come home?  Should be interesting.  I guess technically it's not her first sleepover, if you count Grandma's house or when her friend Lizzie stayed over.  My baby is growing up so fast!

Kindergarten boyfriend

I can't even say the words without cringing.  I'm told that it's probably a phase and to roll with it, but truth be told, I am appalled at the whole idea.  What the heck?  This is too much for my nerves to take. I'm not even really sure what bothers me so much about it.  I know it's all innocent, but it just seems like she is too young to even know the word "boyfriend".  She told me her boyfriend was Caleb and that he was in love with her.  Even just writing that makes my hands shake.  It doesn't help that I've seen Caleb "Mr. Fast Pants" at work at the bus stop, and I don't like it.  He's very touchy.  Apparently he was hugged up on her, on the school bus today too.  Some neighbor kids told me that one.  I guess I will just have to try not to think about it, not sure what else to do.  I did tell her that she needed to tell him to keep his hands to himself and that I didn't want to hear about any kissing either.  That would push me completely over the edge that I'm barely hanging on to right now.  Ugh!  Just enjoy being a 5 year old!  What happened to boys being gross?  Aren't boys supposed to be gross and disgusting at this age? 

Working Mom

Sometimes it's really hard to balance working and home life.  This is one of those times.  I try so hard to be organized, but sometimes things just are beyond my control.  Dan is out of town this weekend, it's been planned for a while.  Of course, my work migration/merger project is happening this weekend.  Talk about feeling alone and like a failure!  Thankfully, my MIL was able to have Zoe stay overnight.  I've been here at the office since 9:00 AM.  This morning, I had to make sure I had a bag packed for Zoe and all her school stuff.  I left work about 2:00 and went home, so Amos wouldn't be in the crate for 24 hours!  Hung out with him a little, then met the bus.  Then we rushed out to make it to Phyllis' office, so I could go back to work and here I am.  Now, I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to get back to let Amos out again and I also was hoping to do some grocery shopping.  I have no groceries.  Couldn't go earlier because I didn't have any time to make a grocery list.  So, I rushed and made grocery list while waiting for the bus.  LOL!   You do what you have to do!  Well, it's not looking like I'll be making it to Harris Teeter tonight.  Which means, who knows when I'll get to go.  When I do actually leave here tonight, I will most certainly have to log in from home.  Tomorrow I have to pick Zoe up and then take her to a birthday party.  I wish I had the foresight to find someone to help me out this weekend.  But, I wasn't thinking I guess.  Can't think of everything I guess.  If I have to come in the office, I will have to bring Zoe, but when the heck am I going to?  We have a birthday party to go to on Sunday too.  I'm so tired of working! 

So, how do these mom's do it?  Do they have nannies?  Family members that are close by?  I wish I knew.  But, this weekend, I'm kind of feeling like a failure.  Mostly a failure to my family because I want them to come first, yet, here I am at the office STILL!

Will I ever get a good night's sleep?

It's not looking likely.  I remember when Zoe was a baby, people told me "oh it will get much better at night as she gets older".  HA!  They lied!  I can't tell you the last time I had a good, uninterrupted, night of sleep.  Wait, yes I can.  It was last month, when Zoe spent the night at Grandma's.  Basically I get one good nights sleep a month.  And, sometimes, not even that, when Amos decides to be a pain. 

The sad part is that for me, sleep really is like a daily vitamin.  My body feels good, I'm in a good mood, all is right with the world.  Don't get me wrong, I am trying to get sleep.  I even do my best to be in bed by 9:30/9:45 PM.  So things start off good.  Then, Amos will need to go out and he will bypass anyone else in the house to get me.  So many nights, I am startled out of a sound sleep by Amos whining.  I get back to sleep, only to wake up practically hanging off the bed because Zoe has climbed in our bed and has taken over all the extra space.  I've tried it all.  We put her back in her bed and she just comes back.  I've tried just scooting down to the bottom of the bed and she makes her way down to the bottom of the bed too.  I've tried sleeping in the guest bed and if she wakes up and I'm not there, she goes to find me and climbs into bed.  That's if Amos doesn't get there first.  He also stalks me at night.  If I get up to go to the bathroom, he's usually right behind me.  (Making sure I don't make a run for it?)

A few nights ago, I was exhausted.  I wasn't able to get to sleep much and finally decided since Zoe was in our bed, I'd go sleep in her bed.  I was in her bed about 5 minutes before Amos found me and jumped up to share the bed with me.  So, once again, I had about a 2 inch strip of bed to try to sleep on.  It doesn't work well.  Between the two of them, I'm never going to get sleep again. 

I don't even know what to do anymore.  Do I spend the next few months taking her back to bed multiple times a night?  Do, I go to the guest bed and lock the door and try to ignore Amos whining?  Apparently, everyone else in my house can sleep through his whining.  LOL!  Plus, Zoe is really good at unlocking doors, so it's not like it would do that much good. 

All I know is that I either need to start getting some sleep or my body needs to hurry up and adjust to little or no sleep.  Wonder how long that will take? 

Agent Z - The international super spy

You've got to love kids with an active imagination.  The past couple of days, Zoe has become "Agent Z", an international super spy.  She's been tip-toeing and scurrying around the house in sunglasses and a pink, glittery fedora.  LOL!  We've been told we have to call her Agent Z and she is the spy boss.  Last night, she slinked into the living room, peeked around the corner and then rolled on the ground to get to the other side of the room.  Like a bad police academy movie.  It's cracking me up!  She totally gets into character.  I'll have to try to get a photo. 

We've had days when she was a rockstar, complete with microphone and fingerless gloves.  A cowgirl, where she wore her cowgirl boots with just about everything.  We've had pink cowgirl boots and bright red ones.   She's been a ninja, wearing her old Tae Kwon Do outfit, running thru the house kicking things.  A superhero, complete with cape.  We also went thru a pirate phase, which included an eye patch.  She would want to go to the store with me wearing the eye patch!  The fun never stops! 

And, I hope it never stops for her.  A healthy imagination is a good thing.  I can't wait to see what she comes up with next!  For now, back to following Agent Z!

Daddy Daughter Drama

I think I'll just call it "DDD" for short.  What is up with that?  Lately it has been the worst!  Zoe looks for any kind of buttons she can push to get Daddy to pretty much lose it.  Is it an attention thing?  Is it just a 5 yr old girl thing?  Who knows, I don't.  But I do know that it is driving me crazy.  Almost every morning and every night there is some type of drama, yelling, door slamming, etc.  I'm thinking by the time Zoe hits 13, her bedroom door will have been removed.  It is a blatant power struggle mostly.  Dan asks her to do something, she flat out tells him "no".  He gets mad, she is being disrespectful, then the yelling begins.  She screams that she hates him, he's mean, lots of stomping, etc.  Ugh.  This latest event, has caused her to be mad for 2 days.  The funny thing is that she has nothing to be mad or upset about.  She was in the wrong, she was being disrespectful to him, so why is she mad?  Who knows.  I just try to keep my mouth shut because whenever I do try to "intervene" the outcome is never good.  I might have to do what Amos, our boxer, does when they argue, he quietly leaves the room and heads to a back corner in the bathroom.  LOL! 

I thought little girls were supposed to be "Daddy's girls", at least that is what people told me.  I'm sure it will change at some point and I will be the villan.  Everyone told me at the beginning, oh she is going to be such a daddy's girl, watch out!  When?  When does this happen?  I'm not complaining though, I like that she is a momma's girl, but I still wonder what I did wrong.  (Everything that goes wrong is somehow my fault!) 

Well, it should be interesting to see how this plays out.  Like I said, this is Day 2.  Last night when Daddy went to do the nighttime routine, she said she didn't want him there.  He took away her Wii remote and stuffed animal after the "incident".  We gave her the opportunity to "earn" them back and she, so far, has declined.  I don't know how long she can hold out though. 

It's never dull at our house, especially when the DDD is in full swing, which seems to be about every other day!  If only I could find that instruction manual.  LOL!