Stepping out of my comfort zone

I hate to do it. I like my comfort zone; it’s very comfy and predictable. It’s perfect. No surprises, a little boring, but that’s OK. I know what to expect. Well, a few months ago I got a wild hair and thought it would be fun to take an adult dance class at Zoë’s dance school. I’m not sure what the heck I was thinking. The choices were Tap, Hip Hop or Belly Dancing. Belly Dancing was a “no” right out of the gate. I’m too uncoordinated and rhythm less for Hip Hop. So, that left tap dancing.

I signed up to keep a spot. When I purchased my tap shoes, I thought, this is it; I really can’t drop out now. Maybe it will be a really small class. Much to my surprise, there were 8 ladies in my class Monday night. These ladies were awesome and many had been tap dancing for years. Didn’t really help my self-esteem any. They were also all tiny and cute, which also didn’t help my self-esteem. It turned out to be a lot of fun and a lot harder than I could have ever imagined. Since I’m a tap newbie (unless you count when I was 7), I have to learn all of the basic steps. Hopefully I won’t slow the class down too much.

What really pushed me over into non-comfy territory were the mirrored walls. You see, I walk by mirrors like they don’t exist most of the time. Other than my daily “mirror check” in the morning, to see if everything matches and looks presentable, I try my best not to look at a mirror for the rest of the day. It was tough, but I managed to find a spot in front of a file cabinet. That lasted for a bit, but I think the dance teacher caught on. She eventually made me move. There were also talks of something called a “dance recital”. I’m thinking I just didn’t hear that part correctly. Now I know that Dance Fever has a recital every year because I’ve been to my share of them for Zoë and Lizzie. What I didn’t realize when I signed up (and paid) for this class, is that the adults participated in the recital as well. That would require someone to push me out of my comfort zone, kicking and screaming. I don’t see that happening. So, they might have to deal with 7 people for their routine. Let’s not get crazy. I can only imagine the outfits they come up with, since these ladies are all under a size 8. We all know whatever they decide on will look ridiculous in my size. Hell, I thought I looked ridiculous in my sweat pants and baggy t-shirt next to these women! (Another reason I was trying to hide by the file cabinet.)

So, as I “step ball changed”, “brush stepped” and “shuffled” (unattractively) for that hour, I thought, maybe it won’t be too bad. I’ll give it another couple of tries. It’s going to require a lot of loosening up on my part. Dan says I need to pull the pole out of my butt. (I’m very comfortable with that pole thank you!) He’s right though. I know that I will never be as graceful, accomplished (or as skinny) as my classmates, but maybe this will be a stepping stone to other activities outside of my comfort zone.

Birthdays, bleh!

Well, the dreaded 40th birthday is quickly approaching. Not sure why I struggle with this one so much. Possibly because I can remember my parents at 40, so it really makes me feel old. LOL! But, to make matters worse, I’m not going to get to spend my 40th birthday lounging in my PJ’s, drinking margaritas. Oh no, I have to work that weekend. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! There is no hope for this birthday! Our office move is happening that weekend. How unfair is that? Now I have to pretend to be happy about turning 40. So help me, I will go postal if anyone hangs a “Lordy Lordy Look Who’s 40” sign anywhere in my line of vision.

But, maybe this isn’t necessarily bad. If I’m working, then I don’t have to think about my birthday at all. I can pretend it’s not happening. I can just keep busy the entire weekend, and come Monday, the birthday nonsense will be over. Hmmm, it just may be the perfect excuse not to have to participate in any birthday crap! Want to go out for dinner? Nope, I’ve got to work. Beautiful!

I’ve hated birthdays (my birthday) for as long as I can remember. I’ve always found them rather disappointing and embarrassing. I think this is why I go overboard with Zoë’s birthdays. I buy too many things, put tons of time and effort into the perfect party. I just don’t want her to EVER feel disappointed or unhappy on her birthday. No child should ever feel that. Birthdays are supposed to be magical and special.

But, for me, I’d rather keep my birthday low key. Let’s just get the damn day over with. So, I’m going to look at working that weekend as a positive. I’ll focus all my energy on the office move and “poof” next thing you know, that birthday will be in the past.

Here’s hoping the weekend goes by quickly.

Dear Prudence White Mocha Coffee Nut

Starting with our first furry baby, Amos, we decided to register under a ridiculous AKC name. His official registered name was “Famous Amos Mocha Coffee Nut”, which always cracked us up whenever we got anything from the American Kennel Club. He was mostly known fondly as “Famous Amos”. So, we had to do something similar with Prudy. Her official registered name is “Dear Prudence White Mocha Coffee Nut”. She gets called “Dear Prudence” a lot. LOL! We are such nerds.

Dear Prudence is almost 4 months old and getting big. When we brought her home she was only 9 lbs. She didn’t have any adjustment issues, no crying at night, etc. Instead she walked in like “this place will do” and made herself at home.

 

 

 

 

 

Prudy's very first day!

 

She loved her bed at first sight!

Now Prudy is almost 4 months old and close to 30 lbs! Aside from that peeing and pooping in the house thing, she’s a really good dog. I hope to train her as a therapy dog when she gets a little older, I think she’ll be good at it. We just have to get through this horrid puppy stage first.

She is such a clown!

Those darn camp kids!

It’s been a wild summer. Our first foray into “camp” territory. I was initially very nervous, but we all got through it. Zoë loved it, and all in all, I’m sure it was a good experience for her. But, some of the things she learned at camp have come close to pushing me over the edge! I’m not talking about camp activities, I’m talking about social interaction, hanging with other kids, etc.

You see, Kindergarten was great! All the kids in her class were around the same age. Since the kids were all on the same level, they liked the same things, talked about the same things and had similar interests. Then, the school year came to an end and we had to find a place for Zoë during the summer. That was an ordeal in itself. Where do I send her, how do I find a place? Luckily, my BFF is anal like I am and had previously done lots of research. We ended up sending Zoë to the place her kiddos go, King Tiger Tae Kwon Do summer camp. As I reflect, I really like the fact that she attended a Tae Kwon Do camp. They really worked on building character, were huge into good manners and respect, and physical activity. She was worn out each day, which made bed times almost dreamlike for us. (Bedtime hell will have to be another post.)

On the flip side, unlike Kindergarten, during the day kids of many ages interacted. This made for some very interesting home conversations. Here are a few of my favorites:

I’m fat:      I just about fell over when Zoë made this announcement. We don’t discuss body image at home, she’s just 6! I asked her what on earth would make her say that. She said the kids at camp told her she looked fat in her swimsuit. Really? I told her she wasn’t fat at all and not to listen to those kids. She has no reason to worry about her weight.

Will you buy me a bra?:      Until yesterday, I thought nothing could top this one. She asked me, very seriously, “Mom, will you buy me a bra?” WHAT? I asked? You don’t need a bra, you have nothing to put in a bra. “Well”, she said, “the girls at camp wear bras.” I told her I found it hard to believe that a bunch of 6, 7 and 8 year old girls were wearing bras. Well, apparently I was wrong. One of the fun camp facts I didn’t think of was that the girls all change into their Tae Kwon Do uniforms together. I was informed by my BFF’s daughter that the girls did indeed wear bras at camp. Now my 6 year old is bra obsessed. My Aunt has fed into this nonsense and sent her some bras as a birthday gift.

Don’t look at my boobs:     Again, WHAT? Yep, this from the kid who would like nothing better than to walk around all day, anywhere, without a shirt.

I hurt my nuts:      Ding, ding, we have a winner. At our house, we have never used the term “nuts” to describe “boy parts”. Hell, my husband is still mad at me for telling Zoë she had 2 butts, a front butt and a back butt! Mostly we just call them girl parts and boy parts. Well, at our weekly Chick Fil A dinner, she bumped into a chair and announced loudly “I hurt my nuts”. As I choked on my spicy chicken sandwich, I said WHAT? In an even louder voice she said “My nuts, I hurt my nuts!” (My friend said “would that be pecans or walnuts”? LOL!) After a stunned silence I asked Zoë what she meant and she pointed to her girl parts. I said “honey, girls don’t have nuts”. I’m still cracking up over that one!

Getting my baby fix!!!

I feel like I’m in the minority, but when I see and hold a baby, I do NOT get that twinge to have another kid. I think I’m missing whatever gene that is. (Sometimes I think I might be missing the maternal instinct gene too. LOL!) Don’t get me wrong, I love babies. Love their sweet baby smell, those cute baby noises, the wide eyed stares and the gassy smiles. (The wobbly neck thing, not so much) I sometimes wonder if something is wrong with me. Hell, Zoë is 6 and there are still songs that instantly make me feel nauseous when I hear them! Why? Because I was pregnant when I heard them before, and they are somehow attached to memories of that hell misery. How does that still happen 6 years later? I heard one song in the car this morning and had to turn the radio station. (That’s a whole other blog post for another day!) All of my friends get the baby twinge. I think many of them are nuts. I’d like to think I’m just more aware of myself. I know that I couldn’t handle more than one kid. I can barely handle Zoë and the new puppy. To the many many people out there who try to make me feel guilty for having an only child, I have a sibling. The sibling thing is way overrated.

Now that I am an Aunt for the first time (yes I think Aunt deserves a capital “A”), I get a different twinge. I love being an Aunt! It’s the perfect scenario for me. I love love love holding Pippa! It makes me happy and it relaxes me. I could hold her all day long. Maybe that’s my “baby twinge”. I don’t want to have another kid, but I can still get the benefits of hugging on a baby as an Auntie. I can snuggle with her, rock her, sing to her, buy her fabulous clothes and shoes, and spoil her and Zoë rotten! I think I’m going to like this Aunt thing. Maybe Melanie & James will pop out some more kids for me to love. LOL! A whole brood of babies that I can hug, spoil and hand back over to the parents until the next visit. Added bonus, I don’t have to change diapers, although I would. I don’t really mind that.

My Sweet Pea is 6!!

Well, Zoë is officially 6 now. Because she was born during the week of the annual Tarrant Family Beach trip, her birthday will always seem to be a week long. This year was no exception. In fact, she got to stay at the beach the entire week. Usually we just stay for 3 or 4 nights. In her eyes, this was probably the best birthday ever. That is until Daddy got a speeding ticket on the way home. She said to him “why on my birthday” and proceeded not to speak to him the rest of the trip because she was mad. LOL! Yeah, who’s a birthday princess?

This year’s party was at Bounce U. We’ve been to a couple of parties there in the past. It turned out really well. Zoë was afraid that since her birthday is during the summer, her friends wouldn’t be able to come. Her kindergarten teacher (bless you Mrs. Boes) collected email addresses and phone numbers for kids in her class and quite a few of her friends were able to attend. I loved the fact that I could just bring the cake and goody bags and Bounce U did the rest. Our party hosts were two adorable young guys that the kids all thought were great. I nicknamed them the “party twins”. I was a little unsure about the party twins at first. They seemed more interested in catching each other up on their social life than doing actual work. But, I was pleasantly surprised. These two took over the party like champs. They joked with the kids, passed out snacks, drinks, cake, helped with presents and handed out goody bags. They even wrote down gift items and names for thank you notes. I thought, pinch me, this is a dream! Then, while searching for the gift list later on, I found it crumpled in the bottom of one of the gift bags and was yanked down to reality. LOL! Hey, at least they kept the list!

We rounded out the day with dinner at one of Zoë’s favorite restaurants, Red Robin. We love the Red Robin birthday club. She has gotten her free birthday meal there for the past few years. Alison, Alex, Joshie & Lizzie all joined us. Zoë & Lizzie discussed bras on the ride over. Yep, you read that right. My Aunt Brenda, who was already Zoë’s favorite Aunt, has pretty much got the “favorite Aunt” title for life. She gave Zoë 3 sets of matching bras and underwear. When Zoë asked me to get her a bra a while ago, I laughed at her. When she told me she had friends at summer camp with bras, I laughed even harder. Now, thanks to the world’s greatest Aunt, she has been wearing a teeny tiny bra every day. I can’t even think about it without rolling my eyes. To top off this ridiculousness, this miniscule bra has the nerve to have a hook in the back and straps that can be tightened. (There go my eyes rolling again.) Zoë has put a bra on under her clothes, each day, by herself. Yesterday, it was on upside down. It’s usually hanging up around her neck like some sort of bra necklace. She also informed me that 3 bras just weren’t enough, she needed more. I told her to take that up with her favorite Aunt.

Oh, and apparently, Zoe was telling the truth about her friends at summer camp wearing bras. Lizzie told her mom (Ali) the same thing and named names. Who knew! I say enjoy not wearing a bra as long as you can get away with it.

I’d like to be a slacker for a day or two

I am on the bubble of madness & insanity. If one more thing breaks or stops working in my house I’m checking myself in to the loony bin. (Actually, the loony bin should have vacation packages, like the spa!) I would like to have at least one evening to myself, where I can watch TV, read a book, or hell, sit in a locked closet. But, no, instead, I get to cater to the needs of everyone else in my house, including the dog.

I hear people say all the time, “when it rains, it pours”. Boy, that is so true. Most of the time, I can hold it together pretty well, but it’s just getting to be too much. After the car repairs, A/C replacement & installation, refrigerator repair, and now our wireless router issues, my head is set to explode at any moment. I have so much to remember, so many things in my brain, that when I try to make a list, I end up with multiple lists! I feel like I do everything for everyone. (At home, & at work.) Most of this is my fault because I tend to take things over. But, I’ve found if I want something done, & done correctly, I have to do it myself. I also know that I’m not unique in any way & that millions of moms & wives out there feel the same way on a daily basis. I just need to figure out how to carve a little time out for myself, to do stuff I’d like to do. Is that selfish? I have been able to get 30 minutes in the morning for the treadmill. It’s a giant pain, because I have to get up super early to do so, while the rest of my family sleeps in as late as possible. So each morning, Prudence the pup wakes me up around 5:20, I stumble out of bed and take her outside. We come back in, she eats and we go back outside to avoid morning accidents. Then, I try for treadmill time. That was pretty much impossible with a dog running around and a husband & child sleeping. So, I broke down and got a puppy playpen. That has helped some; at least I can get 30 minutes in now. I’ve suggested some things to the family that would help. Those suggestions seem to have fallen on deaf ears. Even when I fell down the back steps, with the dog, because the backyard light has been broken for a year, nothing. Still no light. Yet, no one else seems willing to get up at 5:20 AM. What, do I need to break a leg? I even suggested making a brick pathway in the back yard. I saw a few extra walking stones out there yesterday, so maybe I’ll have a pathway by December.

I don’t think I’m asking for a whole lot, just a little time to watch a favorite TV show or read my Kindle. I try to go to bed on the early side because I have to get up so freaking early. As much as I say Zoë needs to go to bed at her usual bed time or earlier, Dan seems to think he’s doing her a favor by letting her stay up. That just ends up making the evening more stressful for everyone. The kid needs her sleep. So, my evenings are spent cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, and trying to straighten the hell hole that is my house lately. I apparently am the only one who notices the overflowing garbage can, the crumbs on the counter and dinner table, etc. And forget about sweeping! No one in my house seems to know how to handle a broom but me! By the time I’m done, I’m tired and just want to go to bed.

I’m tired to being the responsible one. I’d like someone to do things for me, try to anticipate my every need, surprise me by taking care of something without me begging and pleading. I’m just tired. I’m not special. I’m not superwoman. I’m definitely not the only one who can do these things around the house. It’s not rocket science. I need some time off. I want to be a slacker for a while.