Zoe answers a question

One of Zoe’s latest assignments was to answer the question prompt “What if you were invisible?”?  I loved her response and kept her work.  I’ve made spelling corrections, but here’s her answer:

If I were invisible I would haunt people and scare my friend that I do not like so they wouldn’t be mean to me any more.  I would get candy without asking and mostly do what I want.  I’d drink Coke, Mountain Dew and Root Beer and sneak in places and play on games I’m not supposed to.

LOL!  LOL!  We will definitely have to keep an eye on her! 

Breaking the rulz!!!

Our girls “rule breaking” weekend has come to a close.  It was fun while it lasted!  Dan has been traveling with his Dad and returns tonight. 

We started our weekend out by hitting the grocery store after school on Friday, without a grocery list!  OMG!  If you know me at all, this simply is not done.  Not ever!  We planned our meals while we walked the aisles, picked out what we wanted for breakfast, snacks, drinks and of course, ice cream.  We picked our favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor (Chubby Hubby) and one new flavor to try. 

We made loaded baked potatoes for dinner, and I do mean loaded.  We added ham, chicken, cheese, bacon bits, more cheese, etc.  Yummy!  We drank Cherry Sun Drop and ate ice cream for dessert.  The next morning, Zoe slept in until 10:00 and we had doughnuts for breakfast.  Oh yeah!  We had a doughnut breakfast again on Sunday.  Scandalous!! 

Zoe, Prudy and I have had 3 “sleepover” nights.  (It’s going to be hard getting Zoe to stay in her room.)  We would get ready for bed, watch a little Cake Boss on Netflix and curl up like puppies to sleep.  LOL! 

In the morning, we each grabbed our laptops and sat in bed surfing the web.  Then we switched over to the iPad and Nintendo DS for games, while drinking our hot chocolate and coffee.  (All done in bed!  The horror!)

Sadly, tomorrow is a school day so we must return to our law abiding ways.  We had fun, but I sure am ready for things to get back to normal.  I’m already working on next week’s menu and grocery list! 

A New Life Chapter

I have officially been unemployed for two days.  (Eek!) I’m still a little in shock, but I can already see some good from being around more.  It also feels like I jumped without a parachute or safety net and I’m still falling (or plummeting) towards the ground.  It was a tough decision to make.  Dan is behind me 100%.  But, I wonder what happens when I finally hit the ground?  I’ve done a lot of praying and cutting back on expenses.  I’ve got the support of friends and family, which is awesome.  But, I still have a tiny nagging bit of worry. (Probably normal?) 

I have to admit, I do feel less stressed.  I’m surprised I’m not my usual radiating ball of stress over it all.  Perhaps it is because I feel good about the decision.  As soon as the decision was made, I felt like a weight had been lifted.  Yes, I’m very scared, very very scared.  I believe this new chapter in my life is part of a plan, a plan I really have no control over.  I don’t know what the outcome will be, or how I will handle things.  But, I am going to try to keep an open mind and look for the positives.  I’ve already seen some positives!

• Zoë and I actually sit down for healthy breakfasts! 
• Prudy snuggles with me!  (I swear the dog used to hate me.)
• We have laughter in the house and things seem much more relaxed!
• Dan has commented multiple times that I seem very happy!

I know there are more examples.  I plan to write them down as I think of them, so this list will most likely expand.  I hope to find a part time job, a job with a flexible schedule or even a telecommuting job for extra income.  I feel like I’ve been neglecting my family for so long and Zoe will only be little once.  I don’t want to miss anything.

Prudy - The ultimate in “No Worries”!

A chat with myself

Lately my attitude could really use some work. I need to snap out of the negative and find some positive energy somewhere. I’m surrounded by negative energy at work and even though it is sucking me dry, I can’t totally blame work. I’m starting to feel like things are falling apart around me, so I need to get life into perspective. In other words, I need a strong talking to, so, Self, here are some things to be thankful for.

You woke up this morning – Yes, both Zoe and Prudy climbed into bed sometime in the middle of the night to crowd you out, but you’re here to see another day.

You have a family that loves you – It may not seem like it at times, but trust me, they do.

You have a house, car, clothes and food – The basics. It all comes down to the basics and don’t you forget it. 

You have great friends – Your friends have put up with your crap for years and they are still around. They deserve a reward. The least you can do is appreciate them. 

You currently have a job – I know, the job thing has really been getting you down lately and that’s a bummer. But, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. I think you know what that means.

Another thing, Self, you need to get over yourself. You need to remember that not everybody will like you. They don’t have to like you. You don’t like everyone, so why should everyone like you? You also need to take some time out for yourself. In fact, you need to take care of yourself a little better. Live a little. Have some fun. Stop stressing over every damn thing. It’s not worth it. You need to lighten up. Life is too short.  You take yourself waaaaaaaay to seriously. You don’t have to do everything for everyone. No one expects you to, but, hey, no one’s going to turn it down either. Here’s the thing Self, what you worry about totally outweighs the important stuff, and that’s just wrong.

Stop worrying about what other people think.
You can’t be a friend to everyone. Who has the time?
Your family will not suffer if you take some time for yourself.
No one cares if you wear the same clothes each week, they don’t even notice.
No one cares if Zoe wants to wear a hoodie and sweat pants in 100 degree weather.
No one cares if your car is dirty.
Your bad hair days are really just your issue.

So, Self, take a step back and get your shit together. Bad things happen and you will get through them. God, family, and good friends will always be there for you, no matter what. No one really cares about the little things. Keep the faith!  Life goes on, try to enjoy it!

My Office Bully

Bullying - To treat in an overbearing or intimidating manner.  To make (one's way) aggressively.

We talk about bullying in schools, bullying on the internet, bullying on the playground, etc. But, what about bullies in the work place? I never really thought about it until recently. I have an office bully. He has bullied me for years and years. I never thought of him as being a bully, but it makes total sense. He fits the definition to a T. The light bulb came on when a co-worker/friend said “don’t let him bother you, he’s just a bully”! I guess I thought once you were a “grown up” you didn’t have to worry about bullies any more, except to protect children.

This guy is unbelievable. I’ve tried everything. I’ve gone the really nice and kind route (killing with kindness doesn’t really work on evil people). I’ve tried the passive aggressive route. I’ve tried the getting mad approach. I’ve reported him to HR. I’ve even tried not speaking to him. But, as with most bullies, this made no difference and trying to ignore him was almost impossible. I’ve seen this guy berate his assistants into tears. Heck, he even bullies his wife on the phone. What I don’t understand is why he is allowed to act like this in the office. Maybe it’s because others haven’t looked at this as bullying. Maybe they need to be enlightened. Sometimes, we think things change once we become adults. But, I’m filing this in the “high school never ends” category. The more I think about my working years, I realize that I’ve encountered quite a few bullies along the way. (Male and female.) I wish I had realized they were bullies at the time. I probably would have handled things differently.

I wonder if my current bully was always a bully or if he was bullied growing up. I suspect the later. I used to think of him as a giant jerk that always seemed to get his way. Now I realize he is nothing more than a grown up bully. Not sure why that would make such a difference to me. I suspect it is because I really can’t tolerate bullying of any kind. (I was bullied all through school.) When I believed he was just a “jerk”, I let him get under my skin, upset me, and make my life miserable. Now that I realize he's just a bully, it’s like he doesn’t matter. I can easily dismiss him and his antics. I wish I had realized that sooner. Bullies get no respect in my book.

Stepping out of my comfort zone – Part 2 "The Recital"

This tap dancing venture was a huge step for me. I never thought I’d actually go through with it. But, it has really been a lot of fun and I plan to take the class again next year. I might even consider the adult Hip Hop class. (Not sure about that one yet!)

The biggest leap for me is going to be the (dreaded) dance recital. I am so freaking nervous! First, I never thought I would actually make it this far through the class. I figured I would give it a couple of tries, make a fool out of myself, and quit. I never really gave this recital thing enough thought. But, I’ve come this far. The actual routine is only 1 minute and 50 seconds, but it feels like 1 hour and 50 minutes! We are dancing to “Ain’t too proud to beg, by the Temptations. Which, I figure could be a whole lot worse. (I’ve heard some of the songs from other classes!)

The stage scares me. Not only will I be on stage under harsh bright lights, there are only 5 ladies in my class. So, when I screw up, and we all know I will, it will be an epic screw up for the world to see (in shining lights). The only time I’ve done any type of performing on stage was back in my orchestra days, where I got to hide behind a music stand. My classmates keep trying to tell me that I won’t actually see people in the crowd, but I think they are lying. Plus, they have been through this before. On a positive note, the outfit for our routine is normal. Thank God! I was afraid they would try to put this chunky girl in ruffles, or worse, spandex, which would have been a deal killer. But, it’s very tasteful. Long-sleeved white dress shirts, black dress pants and sequined bowties. I think I can handle that!

The thought of an audience truly scares me. I’ve been practicing (without an audience). Any time I think someone is watching, I get nervous and mess up. What am I going to do with a theater full of people? OMG! I really did not think this through! I should have picked a dance studio way on the other side of town. On top of screwing up in front of family, I get to screw up in front of moms I know, church members, etc! What the heck was I thinking?!? (I can feel my blood pressure rising.) What if I fall off the stage? (Now I’m starting to hyperventilate.) What if I pass out on stage? (My heart is racing!) What if people laugh? (Now I’m shaking.) What if I slip and fall and have to be carted off stage on a stretcher? Aaaaagggghhhhh! There are only 3 more classes! What have I done? (Passing out now.)

Zoë's money lesson

Like most children, I don’t know if Zoë fully understands that we all have to work to earn money to get the things we need and want. Sometimes I think she believes money either grows on trees or that credit/debit cards just magically have a never-ending balance. I blame the credit card thing on web games like Webkinz and Club Penguin, where virtual money is always just “there”. From an early age, she could put virtual items in a virtual shopping cart and virtually checkout. Then these virtual items would magically appear in her online account so her Penguin or Webkinz could wear different clothes. LOL! She also realized that things could be purchased online if you had a plastic card with magic numbers. She even asked for my credit card number one day, while on the computer. Whatever kid. LOL! 

Zoë does get to earn some money by doing a few chores around the house, if she gets a 100 on her weekly spelling tests, has a good report card, etc. Also, relatives will send her money occasionally in cards. Unfortunately, money seems to burn a hole in her pocket. She hasn’t quite grasped the mindset that if she would save her money, she could then purchase some of those larger items she wants. She would rather spend it on just “something”. Well, a few weeks ago she learned a pretty valuable lesson. 

She had enough money to get a new Beyblade. So, we told her we would take her to Wal-Mart after her soccer game. Wal-Mart was completely out of Beyblades, so I told her we could come back another day. She just had to buy something. She finally settled on a Tech Deck skateboard and ramp. We get home; she takes it out, changes the wheels on the skateboard and decides the whole thing is boring and dumb. (I couldn’t agree more.) That’s when the meltdown occurred. The meltdown of all meltdowns! She was so mad that she spent her dollars (what she calls money) on a dumb toy. She asked if I would give her some of my money. Nope. I asked her why she picked that toy, when she could have just waited until we went back to the store. She said it looked like fun whenever Alex played with them. LOL! She was pissed! She kicked, screamed, and started throwing things and was promptly sent to her room. 



Beyblades



Well, the next week she asked to go to the store again. We went to a different store this time, and they were also out of Beyblades. (Apparently these are very popular right now.) She wanted to look around for something else and I reminded her of the Tech Deck incident. She got quiet, thought about it and decided to wait and not get anything. She wasn’t thrilled about it, but I say lesson learned. 



Tech Deck



How far until the breaking point?

They say God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I really hope this is true. I’m at the breaking point and I’m not sure just how much more I can hold on my shoulders before completely falling apart. I’m doing my best to hold it together for Zoë, but even she is starting to ask why I’m crying sometimes. I try to hide that from her as much as I can. It’s not fair to her. I know what it’s like to see your mom cry. I’ve been there, it’s very unsettling to a child. I was that child.

I’m trying to stay strong for my family. I try to tell myself that things will work out in the end, things will be OK. I think I’ve gotten past one hurdle, only to find another one. I’ve been keeping most of this to myself, because I don’t want to be that friend. You know the one I mean. That friend that always has some sort of problem or issue going on in life and that’s all they talk about. I don’t want to be that person. So, I just try to keep it to myself.

Currently, it doesn’t even feel like I have a “safe” place. A place where I can go that’s not falling apart at the seams. Not at home or at work. I don’t even want to be friends with myself right now. I’m getting on my own nerves.

My husband has been unemployed for 7 months. Along the way, he has become very depressed. We have, somehow, made it this far. I carry the benefits and work as hard as I can. I take care of the house, plan the meals, do most of the cooking and cleaning, take care of the budget, pay the bills, etc. I also try to be active at Zoë’s school and attend Church. Dan’s depression has lead to some bad behaviors and choices. But, I continue to do my best. I’ve been here through the ups and downs, the fights, the trust issues, etc. We have our first couples counseling session tomorrow. I’m leaving a ton of stuff out. I probably need to start going back to counseling myself.

Work used to be a place where I felt appreciated and happy. Before my company merged, I was working a schedule that allowed me to work some from home, so I could participate in Zoë’s school activities, have more family time, etc. It was a great schedule, very flexible. They were a family oriented company. Now, I work 35 hours a week, am still considered salary, and still put in as much time as my counterparts at 40 hours. I get paid less. I had a very disturbing work phone call today. It seems the new company (mind you it’s been almost a year) does not like my current schedule. In fact, they really don’t like the “work at home” portion. They say because I’m salaried, no matter if it’s at 35 hours or 40 hours, I have to work as many hours as necessary. I can’t just stop my week at 35 hours, like my original agreement. I really wish someone had come to me about this during the whole merger, but that’s neither here nor there. It looks like my current work schedule is no longer an option and my suggestions were also unacceptable. So, I’ve been told that they will get back to me with schedule requirements. The entire conversation left me with a bad feeling in my gut.

So, I feel unappreciated at home and at work. Bills keep coming, things keep breaking. Mostly, I’m just exhausted. I’m tired. If I lose my job right now, we are royally screwed. And you know what? No one really cares. Makes me wonder why I care so much.

Dog vs Cone

I am not going to make it 10 days. That’s how long Prudy, our boxer pup, has to wear the “cone” since she was spayed. Somehow, we are supposed to keep this hyper dog “calm” for 10 days so she doesn’t pop her stitches. Talk about impossible! The first two days we had the hard plastic cone, aka the lampshade, aka the satellite dish. It was awful! Pru would walk past things and knock them over. We lost an entire potted plant to the plastic cone. We would take her outside and the cone would get caught on the door, trees, you name it.


Day 1 in the lampshade:

Day 2:

We started looking for a soft cone. I found one at a pet store a little farther away, called and had them put that sucker on hold. I think I would have driven hours for it.


Pru in the Comfy Cone (kind of looks like a pirate):

 
Huge improvement, but still a giant pain. At least she isn’t destroying the house with it. Since the cone is soft, we can fold back parts of it, making it easier for her to eat and drink.  (Hmmm, therefore making it easier for her to much on a Hex Bug, a bracelet and a Beyblade.)  The hardest part for Prudy is that she has to be in the backyard on a leash. What she doesn’t realize is that this is much harder for me, since I hate to be outside. (Unless the weather is perfect and there are no bugs, then I love it.) Pru loves to be outside, she could sit in her sun spot all day if you let her. She likes to do her terror runs, play, bark, etc. Since she is supposed to stay “calm” (I can’t even write that without rolling my eyes), we have to take her out there on the leash. Did I mention I hate to be outside? Especially when it’s muddy. And cold.
 
Today is Day 5, just 5 more to go. I’ve already developed a slight twitch.

The Gold Star Mom Badge

Sometimes I think there we should have badges for mommies, like Foursquare or the Girl Scouts. Because I seriously think I deserve a Club Penguin badge. I don’t even want to calculate the number of times I have played Card Jitsu Water to win Zoë the Water Ninja Suit. In fact, I should get 2 badges, one for figuring that stupid game out and the other for Gold-Star Mom status.

I don’t know how I get sucked into these things, but in the end they usually are kind of fun. (Shhh, don’t tell Zoë!) Let’s see, I got a Webkinz account so that we could link up and play online games, and visit each other’s house. I would get on my laptop downstairs and she would get on the “house” computer upstairs, and we’d have a good old time. We would send each other Webkinz mail and packages, play “rock paper scissors”, shoot some pool, grow virtual vegetables and hang out in the clubhouse game rooms. LOL!

I have my BFF’s daughter to thank for Club Penguin. (Thank you Shelby, really.) She introduced Zoë to it, showed her how to play some of the games and complete some of the “missions”. Then I got sucked in again. I created an account for myself, so she could add me as a “buddy”, and then we would play online. Then the little schemer somehow got me to log in with her account to earn Club Penguin coins so she could “buy” things. So, I became pretty good with the pizza making game and the fishing game. I’d earn some coins and she would dress up her penguin. Then she got really greedy. The next request was for enough coins to purchase a Dojo, to upgrade her penguin’s house/igloo. Instead of just saying “no”, I found myself playing lots of Club Penguin to earn 5,000 coins for a Dojo. (Yep, you read that correctly.) I also earned coins for Puffles (pets for the penguins), that would run away if you didn’t feed and take care of them. There have got to be at least 8 wild Puffles out there looking for food. (They are nice enough to send you a postcard when they run away.)

So, I really shouldn’t have been surprised with this recent Club Penguin request, to earn the elusive Water Ninja Suit. LOL! We finally earned the entire suit last night. The suit comes in 4 parts, which each have to be earned individually. (Of course they do! Making it just one piece would have been too easy.) I had to play Card Jitsu Water so many times I think my eyes started to bleed. Then, just to stick it to me again, after we got to 100% on the 4th item I had to “challenge” the Sensei! So, when Zoë says she is a Club Penguin Water Ninja, what she really means is “I, the greatest mommy in the world, am a Club Penguin Water Ninja”. LOL!

I wonder what the next online game site will be for us? Littlest Pet Shop? Toon Town? More Club Penguin? I hear there’s an Ice/Snow Ninja suit that might be next. Game on!

The Holiday Blues

Every year, around this time, I get what I call the “holiday blues”. I’m not sure what triggers it, but I can count on it like clockwork. I get depressed and weepy, and really just want to lock myself in the bedroom and stay under the covers. Every year I tell myself, I’m going to beat the blues this time. I decorate, bake, put on the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, play Christmas music, make Zoë do some crazy crafts, mail Christmas cards, you name it. I’ve done it all. I do a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child, support the Angel Tree, try to visit and help people. None of this really helps. At the end of the day, I’m still depressed. Usually, the only thing that can break through is watching Zoë enjoy the magic and spirit of Christmas. I can always count on that! (I hope that Zoë never feels blue around the holidays!)

I think it stems from awful holidays past. My body is conditioned to prepare itself for disappointment. I’m sure this year will be no different, probably worse, since I can’t seem to get myself organized and ready. I feel like I’ve done nothing. Usually, by now, I’ve at least gotten a little Christmas shopping done and taken advantage of early deals. Nothing. I didn’t even put up my Thanksgiving decorations! I usually go all out. I still have Halloween stuff that hasn’t been put away. Add to that, Dan is still looking for work and money is quickly dwindling.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. I really love my in-laws, so I know dinner will be fine. But, something will happen, it always does. They sometimes forget to include me on email messages and rely on Dan to tell me. Now that they have moved their conversations to Facebook, I never know what is going on. I’m still not completely sure what’s supposed to happen tomorrow. I think I’m supposed to bring sweet potato casserole. I’m taking bets on getting there and finding out I was supposed to bring something else. I don’t even know what time we are supposed to be there!

This year we will also be traveling to Richmond to see my family. That’s just a hot bed of potential drama. I am looking forward to seeing my family and staying with my cousins. I really want Zoë to be connected and involved with them, especially since I never was in the past. There is a huge divide between my immediate family and my extended family. Makes visiting a little stressful.

So, here’s to once again trying to kick the holiday blues. Wonder if I can just up the meds?

Darn you Ke$ha!

I was mortified yesterday, listening to Zoë sing one of her favorite songs. I immediately decided that the Kidz Bop CD’s really aren’t that bad. We will be a Kidz Bop family for our music, for a while. Here are the lyrics that set my teeth on edge, sung perfectly by my 6 year old:


“There’s a place I know, if you’re looking for a show, where they go hardcore and there’s glitter on the floor.”

I am still horrified! I had no idea she knew the words (she knows them ALL) and thankfully she has no idea what she is singing about. The look on Dan’s face still haunts me, and I got the lecture. I know, I know, I need to turn off the radio in the car. Believe me, I will now. I’m going to have to start keeping my iPod in the car, with some innocent tunes on it, along with a couple of those dreaded Kidz Bop CD’s. At least Zoë has the entire collection, thanks Shelby! (We’re up to 18 of them now, I think.)

So, for now, Ke$ha is at the top of the banned list around Zoë. I guess I can’t dislike Justin Bieber too much, he still makes me cringe, but at least Zoë can sing his songs. I’d rather hear her sing the lyrics to “Baby Baby” over choking on my drink when she sings “brushing my teeth with a bottle of Jack”. I’ve created a “Zoë” playlist on my iPod with some of her “safe” favorites. During future car rides, we will rocking out to Miranda Cosgrove, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and old-school Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus. I guess it could be a lot worse!

The Wedding Time Capsule

I have to admit that 10 years ago, when I suggested putting together a wedding time capsule, both Dan and I thought it was kind of cheesy, but we did it anyway.  I’m so glad we did!  We couldn’t remember anything we’d put in there.  I vaguely remembered writing letters to each other, but that is about it.  10 years is a long time to remember details!  I’m surprised we were able to keep up with it.  It has moved to different homes over the years, but it was right there in storage when I went to find it.  We would see it occasionally when we were cleaning up or organizing the storage area.  It was weird to see the lid that said “Do not open until October 28, 2010”.  We’d laugh, but wow, it’s finally here!  I still can't believe it has been 10 years!

We all gathered around the time capsule that evening.  Zoë was excited too.  When we put this thing together, she wasn’t even a thought!  It was great!  Our letters to each other were really sweet.  We even had a letter in there that my Mom wrote to us.  That was a neat surprise.  I don’t even remember asking her to do that.  She wrote that she hoped she and my Dad would be around when we opened it.  Later on that evening, when we Skyped for Zoë to talk to Grandma, we thanked her for the letter. 

We included a calendar from that year.  It was neat to see all the activities we were involved in and all the things we did together.  Lots of pictures!  We had photos of our first home, Dan’s townhouse.  Amos was in a lot of pictures, he was a cute puppy.  We had pictures from our wedding, ticket stubs, etc. from our Honeymoon at Walt Disney World.  Since the time capsule was to represent the first year of marriage, we even had the newspaper from September 11, 2001.  That was really emotional to see and read.  We were able to show Zoë and talk to her about it a little.  It’s still strange to think that she will never get to see the “Twin Towers”. 

I think we are going to refill the time capsule, and seal it to keep for another 10 years. We’ve survived 10 years of marriage we should be able to make it 10 more! That would be really interesting. I would be 50 when we opened it and Zoë would be 16! Yikes! I don’t even want to think about it.

Well, here’s to 10 more years of marriage!  

Mascot respect!

I know this is strange, but for a long time I’ve always wanted to be a mascot. (It’s on my list, along with being a cheerleader! Yeah, yeah, I know it’s lame.) LOL! I love mascots, they always look like they are having so much fun. What an awesome job to have! Making people laugh, giving high-fives and hugs, posing for pictures. Best of all, no talking and no one knows who you are! So, when Zoë’s school PTA asked for volunteers to parade around as the fundraiser mascot, I decided to step out of my comfort zone again. (I hope this outside of the comfort zone thing doesn’t become a habit.)

I did a stint as a mascot in college for a bit. But, it wasn’t one of the furry costumes, with the large head. No anonymity. It was still fun, but not as fun as totally being anonymous. I still felt self-conscious. In high-school I worked a couple of summers at Kings Dominion. I worked on one of the rides, but always wanted to be one of the characters. I would get close to applying and would talk myself out of it. Plus, those were some hot summers, so I could only imagine the condition of those costumes. LOL! The application process also required a “try out”, and I was really shy back then.

 

So, this morning, I donned the bear costume, complete with giant head, and headed out to the school carpool line. If you overlook being extremely hot, it was a lot of fun. The kids were great! Tons of hugs, high-fives, fist bumps & waves. I even got to pose for a picture with one little girl. I think I made a lot of people smile today, even some of the teachers. LOL! I skipped around, danced, twirled and opened doors. The tough part for me was keeping my mouth shut. (Let’s just say Zoë comes by her chattiness naturally.) When I saw people I knew, I wanted to talk so bad I could hardly stand it! After hanging out at the drop off, I headed to the student news room to be on the morning news. I’m sure Zoë got a kick out of telling her classmates her mom was the bear. LOL!

 

I don’t know if I’ll do it again, maybe. The only thing that would really stop me would be the blazing heat felt in that thing. (When I was told to dress lightly, that was an understatement!) Something tells me the PTA didn’t get a lot of takers for this volunteer opportunity, so I’ll probably get asked again. LOL! And, I’ll probably say yes. LOL!

Things I learned at the loading dock

Our office move is officially complete. It was a giant pain in the butt and looking back, I realize I spent quite a bit of time hanging out at the loading dock for the new building. More than I care to repeat. In fact, if I never see (or smell) the loading dock again, it would be too soon.

But, I had a lot of time to make some observations about the working man. I have the double whammy of working in a male dominated field, in an office that is also dominated by males. (Lucky me.)

Here’s what I learned:

Chivalry really isn’t dead. Who knew? I work for a commercial real estate firm. These guys don’t like to get their hands dirty and think the world should bow and cater to them. How shocked was I when the loading dock guys, did things like hold the elevator, hold a door, help me carry items without me having to beg and plead. It was like another dimension, bizarro world! I almost didn’t know how to act!

Cussing is just talking. I’m sure I learned a few new words, but things were said with such frequency and emotion you almost didn’t notice. The cussing just flowed.

Cuss words are guy terms of endearment. (What up bleep face!)

A smile goes a long way. I can smile all day long at the office and co-workers would just ask if I was OK. Smiling at the loading dock gets rock star treatment.

One service elevator can hold a crap load of people and heavy equipment.

Patience truly is a virtue. (Especially when there are only two service elevators for a building with 48 floors.)

The crowded service elevator in the morning smells a whole lot better than the crowded 5:00 PM one.

Thick skin and a sense of humor are a must! These guys got a huge kick out of my pink Vera Bradley backpack, matching lanyard and pink phone. They cracked themselves up yelling “hey Paul, you got a purse just like that don’t you”.

These guys have mad skills! Much respect to the loading dock guys!

Stepping out of my comfort zone

I hate to do it. I like my comfort zone; it’s very comfy and predictable. It’s perfect. No surprises, a little boring, but that’s OK. I know what to expect. Well, a few months ago I got a wild hair and thought it would be fun to take an adult dance class at Zoë’s dance school. I’m not sure what the heck I was thinking. The choices were Tap, Hip Hop or Belly Dancing. Belly Dancing was a “no” right out of the gate. I’m too uncoordinated and rhythm less for Hip Hop. So, that left tap dancing.

I signed up to keep a spot. When I purchased my tap shoes, I thought, this is it; I really can’t drop out now. Maybe it will be a really small class. Much to my surprise, there were 8 ladies in my class Monday night. These ladies were awesome and many had been tap dancing for years. Didn’t really help my self-esteem any. They were also all tiny and cute, which also didn’t help my self-esteem. It turned out to be a lot of fun and a lot harder than I could have ever imagined. Since I’m a tap newbie (unless you count when I was 7), I have to learn all of the basic steps. Hopefully I won’t slow the class down too much.

What really pushed me over into non-comfy territory were the mirrored walls. You see, I walk by mirrors like they don’t exist most of the time. Other than my daily “mirror check” in the morning, to see if everything matches and looks presentable, I try my best not to look at a mirror for the rest of the day. It was tough, but I managed to find a spot in front of a file cabinet. That lasted for a bit, but I think the dance teacher caught on. She eventually made me move. There were also talks of something called a “dance recital”. I’m thinking I just didn’t hear that part correctly. Now I know that Dance Fever has a recital every year because I’ve been to my share of them for Zoë and Lizzie. What I didn’t realize when I signed up (and paid) for this class, is that the adults participated in the recital as well. That would require someone to push me out of my comfort zone, kicking and screaming. I don’t see that happening. So, they might have to deal with 7 people for their routine. Let’s not get crazy. I can only imagine the outfits they come up with, since these ladies are all under a size 8. We all know whatever they decide on will look ridiculous in my size. Hell, I thought I looked ridiculous in my sweat pants and baggy t-shirt next to these women! (Another reason I was trying to hide by the file cabinet.)

So, as I “step ball changed”, “brush stepped” and “shuffled” (unattractively) for that hour, I thought, maybe it won’t be too bad. I’ll give it another couple of tries. It’s going to require a lot of loosening up on my part. Dan says I need to pull the pole out of my butt. (I’m very comfortable with that pole thank you!) He’s right though. I know that I will never be as graceful, accomplished (or as skinny) as my classmates, but maybe this will be a stepping stone to other activities outside of my comfort zone.

Birthdays, bleh!

Well, the dreaded 40th birthday is quickly approaching. Not sure why I struggle with this one so much. Possibly because I can remember my parents at 40, so it really makes me feel old. LOL! But, to make matters worse, I’m not going to get to spend my 40th birthday lounging in my PJ’s, drinking margaritas. Oh no, I have to work that weekend. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! There is no hope for this birthday! Our office move is happening that weekend. How unfair is that? Now I have to pretend to be happy about turning 40. So help me, I will go postal if anyone hangs a “Lordy Lordy Look Who’s 40” sign anywhere in my line of vision.

But, maybe this isn’t necessarily bad. If I’m working, then I don’t have to think about my birthday at all. I can pretend it’s not happening. I can just keep busy the entire weekend, and come Monday, the birthday nonsense will be over. Hmmm, it just may be the perfect excuse not to have to participate in any birthday crap! Want to go out for dinner? Nope, I’ve got to work. Beautiful!

I’ve hated birthdays (my birthday) for as long as I can remember. I’ve always found them rather disappointing and embarrassing. I think this is why I go overboard with Zoë’s birthdays. I buy too many things, put tons of time and effort into the perfect party. I just don’t want her to EVER feel disappointed or unhappy on her birthday. No child should ever feel that. Birthdays are supposed to be magical and special.

But, for me, I’d rather keep my birthday low key. Let’s just get the damn day over with. So, I’m going to look at working that weekend as a positive. I’ll focus all my energy on the office move and “poof” next thing you know, that birthday will be in the past.

Here’s hoping the weekend goes by quickly.

Dear Prudence White Mocha Coffee Nut

Starting with our first furry baby, Amos, we decided to register under a ridiculous AKC name. His official registered name was “Famous Amos Mocha Coffee Nut”, which always cracked us up whenever we got anything from the American Kennel Club. He was mostly known fondly as “Famous Amos”. So, we had to do something similar with Prudy. Her official registered name is “Dear Prudence White Mocha Coffee Nut”. She gets called “Dear Prudence” a lot. LOL! We are such nerds.

Dear Prudence is almost 4 months old and getting big. When we brought her home she was only 9 lbs. She didn’t have any adjustment issues, no crying at night, etc. Instead she walked in like “this place will do” and made herself at home.

 

 

 

 

 

Prudy's very first day!

 

She loved her bed at first sight!

Now Prudy is almost 4 months old and close to 30 lbs! Aside from that peeing and pooping in the house thing, she’s a really good dog. I hope to train her as a therapy dog when she gets a little older, I think she’ll be good at it. We just have to get through this horrid puppy stage first.

She is such a clown!

Those darn camp kids!

It’s been a wild summer. Our first foray into “camp” territory. I was initially very nervous, but we all got through it. Zoë loved it, and all in all, I’m sure it was a good experience for her. But, some of the things she learned at camp have come close to pushing me over the edge! I’m not talking about camp activities, I’m talking about social interaction, hanging with other kids, etc.

You see, Kindergarten was great! All the kids in her class were around the same age. Since the kids were all on the same level, they liked the same things, talked about the same things and had similar interests. Then, the school year came to an end and we had to find a place for Zoë during the summer. That was an ordeal in itself. Where do I send her, how do I find a place? Luckily, my BFF is anal like I am and had previously done lots of research. We ended up sending Zoë to the place her kiddos go, King Tiger Tae Kwon Do summer camp. As I reflect, I really like the fact that she attended a Tae Kwon Do camp. They really worked on building character, were huge into good manners and respect, and physical activity. She was worn out each day, which made bed times almost dreamlike for us. (Bedtime hell will have to be another post.)

On the flip side, unlike Kindergarten, during the day kids of many ages interacted. This made for some very interesting home conversations. Here are a few of my favorites:

I’m fat:      I just about fell over when Zoë made this announcement. We don’t discuss body image at home, she’s just 6! I asked her what on earth would make her say that. She said the kids at camp told her she looked fat in her swimsuit. Really? I told her she wasn’t fat at all and not to listen to those kids. She has no reason to worry about her weight.

Will you buy me a bra?:      Until yesterday, I thought nothing could top this one. She asked me, very seriously, “Mom, will you buy me a bra?” WHAT? I asked? You don’t need a bra, you have nothing to put in a bra. “Well”, she said, “the girls at camp wear bras.” I told her I found it hard to believe that a bunch of 6, 7 and 8 year old girls were wearing bras. Well, apparently I was wrong. One of the fun camp facts I didn’t think of was that the girls all change into their Tae Kwon Do uniforms together. I was informed by my BFF’s daughter that the girls did indeed wear bras at camp. Now my 6 year old is bra obsessed. My Aunt has fed into this nonsense and sent her some bras as a birthday gift.

Don’t look at my boobs:     Again, WHAT? Yep, this from the kid who would like nothing better than to walk around all day, anywhere, without a shirt.

I hurt my nuts:      Ding, ding, we have a winner. At our house, we have never used the term “nuts” to describe “boy parts”. Hell, my husband is still mad at me for telling Zoë she had 2 butts, a front butt and a back butt! Mostly we just call them girl parts and boy parts. Well, at our weekly Chick Fil A dinner, she bumped into a chair and announced loudly “I hurt my nuts”. As I choked on my spicy chicken sandwich, I said WHAT? In an even louder voice she said “My nuts, I hurt my nuts!” (My friend said “would that be pecans or walnuts”? LOL!) After a stunned silence I asked Zoë what she meant and she pointed to her girl parts. I said “honey, girls don’t have nuts”. I’m still cracking up over that one!

Getting my baby fix!!!

I feel like I’m in the minority, but when I see and hold a baby, I do NOT get that twinge to have another kid. I think I’m missing whatever gene that is. (Sometimes I think I might be missing the maternal instinct gene too. LOL!) Don’t get me wrong, I love babies. Love their sweet baby smell, those cute baby noises, the wide eyed stares and the gassy smiles. (The wobbly neck thing, not so much) I sometimes wonder if something is wrong with me. Hell, Zoë is 6 and there are still songs that instantly make me feel nauseous when I hear them! Why? Because I was pregnant when I heard them before, and they are somehow attached to memories of that hell misery. How does that still happen 6 years later? I heard one song in the car this morning and had to turn the radio station. (That’s a whole other blog post for another day!) All of my friends get the baby twinge. I think many of them are nuts. I’d like to think I’m just more aware of myself. I know that I couldn’t handle more than one kid. I can barely handle Zoë and the new puppy. To the many many people out there who try to make me feel guilty for having an only child, I have a sibling. The sibling thing is way overrated.

Now that I am an Aunt for the first time (yes I think Aunt deserves a capital “A”), I get a different twinge. I love being an Aunt! It’s the perfect scenario for me. I love love love holding Pippa! It makes me happy and it relaxes me. I could hold her all day long. Maybe that’s my “baby twinge”. I don’t want to have another kid, but I can still get the benefits of hugging on a baby as an Auntie. I can snuggle with her, rock her, sing to her, buy her fabulous clothes and shoes, and spoil her and Zoë rotten! I think I’m going to like this Aunt thing. Maybe Melanie & James will pop out some more kids for me to love. LOL! A whole brood of babies that I can hug, spoil and hand back over to the parents until the next visit. Added bonus, I don’t have to change diapers, although I would. I don’t really mind that.